


Bind

by AQLM



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy, Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, BDSM, Dominance, F/F, Japanese Rope Bondage, Light BDSM, Rope Bondage, Shibari
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-14
Updated: 2019-10-13
Packaged: 2020-12-15 00:40:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21024902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AQLM/pseuds/AQLM
Summary: Lexi T'Perro and Sara Ryder have solidified their bond of love, sexuality, and dominance/submission. Sara's decision to stop her heart while aboard the kett ship, however, damages their relationship. Now Sara must earn Lexi's trust before the two can reunite.A sequel to Unwind (https://archiveofourown.org/works/12617348/chapters/28745216) because I love writing kinky sex between two women. A fitting tribute to Kinktober!





	1. Matters of the Heart

“You died!”

The exasperated face of Lexi T’Perro appeared in front of Sara Ryder again. There had been the doctor’s quasi-public reprimand of Ryder a few hours ago. There in the medbay, Dr. T’Perro had scolded both SAM and Ryder for their extreme but ultimately successful ploy to escape the kett containment field. Her bluster and frustration, her insult and then apology, were all part of the professional concern she maintained for Ryder and the rest of the crew. Anyone who walked into the midst of the doctor’s rant would have supported it, perhaps with a few other choice words.

Here on the Nexus in the Pathfinder’s quarters, the content was the same but the tenor far different. Her face, formerly creased with a mix of professional exasperation and indignation, now held roiling anger. 

“Of all the stupid, blockheaded, ill-conceived plans you have had in Andromeda – and let me tell you, there have been a stunning amount – this is the most reckless and literally suicidal.” Lexi paced away, then turned around with a jabbing motion. “Any plan, Ryder, any plan that relies on a still-untested AI to stop your heart is one that should have been discarded. This was so ridiculous that I should have you removed from duty until I can perform a full psychological battery!”

Ryder sat crosslegged on her bed and rubbed her temples with a yellow-brown hand. They had been at this argument for the better part of an hour, with Lexi looping and restating, further enraging herself with her own admonishments. Sara’s hope for a quick post-mortem apology fuck had been dashed the moment she saw Lexi’s body posture: rigid, almost trembling in fury. She had allowed Lexi to let loose and with every increasingly furious second, she was wishing she hadn’t.

“Are you paying attention to me?” The last syllable went dangerously high.

“Yes…” Disapproving, piercing blue eyes went through her. “No. I was listening before. That counts for something, right?”

A furious whirl and Lexi slammed her hand down on the table, rattling the few possessions Ryder left on it. One of the pictures fell off and a pad inched dangerously towards the edge. 

“You don’t get it, do you,” said Lexi, her voice a dull roar. “You are more than just Sara Ryder. You’re the pathfinder. You’re the hope. If we lose you, all the progress you’ve made will fall away and we’ll be back where we started.

Sara locked her hands and stretched them above her head. “Nah. Scott will wake up soon enough. Between SAM and my impeccable notes, it’ll be like I never left! Well, except for the whole boy thing.” She giggled. She wished she hadn’t when she saw Lexi’s expression.

“You can chuckle and snide-remark your way through the rest of Andromeda but that doesn’t work with me,” said Lexi coldly, but it was a fragile hostility. “If you expect me to trust you after what you just pulled, you are deeply mistaken. You’ve told me again and again our relationship, our…bond…is based on trust. I can’t trust you to make good decisions for yourself. How can I trust you to make them for me?”

Sara almost bounded off the bed to gather Lexi close but Lexi put two hands in front of herself, stopping Sara in her tracks. 

“No. Don’t. I don’t want a flirtatious dismissal or some grandiose romantic gesture meant to distract me. I want to be heard.” She crossed her arms in front of her.

“Lexi, I heard you. Every word. I was stupid and careless. I won’t ever do something like that again.”

“Sara, I know you well enough that I don’t believe it.” She dodged Sara’s outstretched arm and walked to the door. “This was a mistake. I’m sorry.”

“I’ll see you later, Ryder.” The hiss of the automatic mechanism concealed Sara’s apologetic send-off. 

“Shit,” she mumbled. Then she shouted it again, throwing one of the pictures against the wall in an uncharacteristic loss of control. She should have heard the pain in Lexi’s voice and discerned the message behind the words. Not if “we” lost Sara. If Lexi lost Sara. She saw all the places where she should have stopped mentally whining and picked up that this wasn’t a mere scolding. This was an expression of terror from the woman who loved her. 

She flopped down on the bed and ran her fingers through her hair, then back down across her face, shutting her eyes. The two played so deeply. The raw bliss, the absolute power of what they did with each other. In the few weeks since they had become intimate, Sara had explored depths of pleasure and submission with Lexi she hadn’t with anyone else. Lexi was so delicious and responsive, so natural and passionate. A bit too eager to prove herself, which left Sara in the unenviable position of needing to fend off an amorous woman intent in demonstrating how much she wanted to cut loose.

Sara realized she had started to take it for granted. She’d gotten cocky, confident. A girl like Lexi was fantastic for the ego and under all that insecurity about being Pathfinder, Ryder had a hell of an ego. The balloon of her self-importance had suddenly been expertly punctured and Sara felt physically deflated. She pondered frantic ways to make it right. No romantic gestures…well, that’s all she could do, besides attempt to buy presents. Or grovel. Neither felt sufficient. 

Miserably, she got up and went back to the Tempest. If she was going to be a failure as a lover, she might as well get something useful done today. Maybe something would come up as she trudged through yet another half-dead planet full of kett, murderous plant life, and inhospitable weather.

\-------------------------------------------------------------

Dr. T’Perro applied the finishing touches to Jaal’s wounds and ended with a familiar recommendation to decrease activity for a few days exercise more caution in the future. It was met by an equally familiar gesture of appreciation and a brush-off of her advice. She’d long since stopped taking it personally though it still stung to see them ignoring her. Civilian patients were rarely so cavalier in disregarding good advice; some even followed it. She was appreciated, certainly but she wanted a professional relationship that contained some sort of respect.

She amended her self-pity. If she truly pushed, if she brought down the medical hammer in a way she never did, she believed they would listen. The injuries she healed in the medlab were mostly trivialities and perhaps the crew felt safe hopping back into the fray because they didn’t experience any aftereffects. However, when Vetra was brought in by a frantic Liam after she had sustained a close-range shotgun blast, the injured turian spent an uncomplaining week on the Nexus regaining strength and running non-violent missions. She didn’t return to the crew until Dr. T’Perro personally signed off on her reinstatement. That was some sort of respect, right? 

She leaned back in her chair, pushing away her documentation with her elbow. The frustrating paradox of being a military doctor was seeing the selfishness behind the selflessness. They helped the galaxy at the cost of themselves, but they put themselves in front of good sense. She could never reach out and stop them from taking unacceptable risks while chasing kett any more than she could have locked her father in their apartment to keep him from being beat up at work. The same powerlessness that infused her relationship with her father came up when treating those she cared for. Or loved.

Sara. Oh Goddess, that fool. Well, they were both fools. Lexi for loving a woman who was as thoughtless as a krogan when it came to appreciating danger. Sara for doing just that despite all of Lexi’s pleas. This most recent misadventure was painful in ways Sara wouldn’t…or more likely, couldn’t…comprehend. Being too conscious of life’s fragility made for a poor soldier. Even though Sara had suffered the death of her father and many others, her own mortality was not something she considered when she put on her armor each day. It did not occur to her others would feel the same grief when the Pathfinder met her violent end. 

Lexi had felt a shadow of that loss for the two days she restricted herself to the common areas of the Tempest. Ryder wisely avoided her, to the point of seeing Harry for a patch-up Lexi could have handled in her sleep. Her reappearance in the common sleeping area was met with the beginnings of playful mockery by Peebee, of course. Drak had shut that line of teasing down with a glare and movement so fierce that Peebee fled back to her escape pod. 

Then the burly, ancient krogan had shook her shoulder and grumbled, “Take advice from an old man with a lot of old mates – this kind of fight doesn’t solve itself.”

“I’ve told her she is stupid. A few times,” growled Lexi in return. “She doesn’t get it.”

“Yeah,” he grunted. “Us fighting-types rarely do. It’ll sink in. Be open when it does.” Then he lumbered back to the kitchen and she curled up in a crowded room once more. She had often felt isolated in Andromeda but this was the first time she felt lonely.

The feel of a warm body nuzzled against her was one she had missed and welcomed each night. More so there was the mental ache for Ryder’s…domination felt too strong of a word and control too negative. How Sara effortlessly wrapped up Lexi’s mind and body, setting aside every care and fear so Lexi could be free. The pleasure was breathtaking but the connection, both while melding and outside of that deep space, was more of what Lexi desired. She was no longer a satellite orbiting and observing the world with a dispassionate, lonely gaze; she was within it, happily entangled, finally at peace. Sara’s treatment of Lexi on her return from the grave suggested a mismatch in intensities between the two women. Of course. 

Ryder’s gentle email asking her back to the Nexus fluttered Lexi’s heart and annoyed her shortly thereafter. Being enamored of someone who had so flagrantly violated her trust was not a sign of stability. Addiction, more likely. There were certain medications she could take to quench the desire easily enough but taking an opioid blocker before visiting Sara seemed overkill even for her. She was going to visit, she sighed. There would be no escaping this rut without confrontation. Drak’s words in her head, she left work and arrived at the Pathfinder quarters.


	2. The Binding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexi visits Sara's apartment for conversation and for the whole point of my writing this story.

Lexi hoped that she would not respond when Sara opened the door, but the pathways Sara had etched into her heart lit anew when Sara stood before her. The fitted shirt that accentuated lean muscle, the thin chain she wove through her belt, the tattoos that stared her down with every methodical blink. She tasted her longing and ache for Sara’s touch and approval but fought it back with her consternation and fear. She snapped her mind back to clinical and walked inside, not allowing even the edges of her fabric to brush against Ryder’s clothing.

The room was more spare than they last had met, a feat given Sara’s tendency to spiral into jostling chaos when she wasn’t paying attention or under stress. From habit Lexi glanced at the bed, finding it crisply made and completely unadorned. Sara meant to talk. Lexi’s disappointment was shadowed by her relief. She occupied the proffered chair and Sara sat before her, bending the edge of the bed to be at Lexi’s height.

Sara’s voice was soft and low, unfamiliar and precise in its slow diction. “Lexi. I am the pathfinder. I lead our people through this galaxy. I am the force on which they depend for guidance. I am the spear that splits the waves.” She opened and closed her eyes in one slow movement. “I am a soldier in the service of the Alliance, a leader in a place where we have no recourse. There is no backup at the end of a mass relay. We are alone and the resources we have are all we can depend on.”

“At that moment, Lexi, I did not have another choice. I did not have time to examine my other options. My crew was dying. I was trapped. I do not know the technology well enough to craft a clever solution and I did not have the luxury of asking for help. I let SAM stop my heart because I could not second guess the second voice in my head.”

Sara reached out a hand and Lexi let her face be touched, her breath hitching at the sudden contact. “And yet…I did not need to be cruel about it. I did not have to place the reminder of my duties and my mortality in front of you. The only way we survive is by leaving the knowledge of our fragility behind. I should have remembered that. I should have listened to what you were saying. I am so sorry, Lexi, for my words and my actions. They were not befitting our relationship and they were certainly not worthy of you.”

“Ryder,” whispered Lexi, losing her arguments in the cadence of Sara’s voice and the masterful content of her apology. She did not know the pathfinder to be so eloquent nor thoughtful. Lexi knew it could be another cunning trick, borrowed words crafted by multiple wise minds to disarm Lexi and lure her back into Ryder’s bed. Goddess, that was the only place she wanted to be. She placed her hand on Sara’s, feeling the combined warmth on the side of her cheek. “I…thank you.” 

“I don’t know how to move forward from here, Lexi,” murmured Sara. She ran her thumb along the thin edge of Lexi’s jaw. “I cannot promise you I will never put myself in danger again. I cannot say that I will put your feelings before the good of Andro-“

“I would never,” Lexi sat up, letting their hands fall away. “I would never ask you to sacrifice the success of the mission because you are worried it will hurt me. I respect you and this whole screwed up expedition too much to let one person’s needs interfere.” She smashed down the outrage. “I just…want you to show…that you care…that you understand. That you know…” Lexi felt a small quiver creep into her voice and she swore internally. Crying. Ugh. She hated it. It heightened her powerlessness and right now, she needed some sort of backbone. She needed not to collapse and wail her fear into her lover’s arms. She couldn’t surrender yet.

Sara dropped to her knees and grabbed Lexi’s wrists. Those sniper’s eyes, the shocking white tattoos against her pale brown skin, boring through Lexi with desperate intensity. She wondered if Sara could feel her heartbeat triple as the woman almost prostrated herself in front of Lexi. What would have been a submissive gesture in other circumstances further strengthened Ryder’s dominance.

“I love you. So much. Being away from you was more painful than I could have imagined but it was worse knowing I had broken your trust. I want to show you that you can trust me.” She swallowed but did not break Lexi’s gaze. “I want to…” She tilted her head and arranged her thoughts.

“There is an ancient Earth art. Shibari. It is the act of tying rope around a partner in a way that is both aesthetic and confining. I would like to share it with you. To tie you to me and with me.” She paused once more. “I would keep the limiters off. I would keep your clothes on as you wanted. I would not bind your hands or feet without your permission. But I find the rhythm of it…soothing. Bonding.”

From the moment Lexi had entered the room she had been anxious to feel that closeness. Confronted with Sara’s plea and confession, Lexi’s resistance crumbled. 

“I would love to.” She managed through a suddenly dry throat. She always marveled at the predictable course her body would take. The intake of breath, the racing heart, the moisture that pooled between her legs that was drained in turn from everywhere else in her body. The blood that roared whenever she disrobed and watched Ryder’s eyes caress her body. The goosebumps that sprang up on her skin when the slightest rush of air passed over. 

Ryder almost bounded over to a drawer beside the bed. She removed three coils of off-white rope and placed them on the bed. Lexi paused and regained her clinical mind for a moment. “Ryder, did you bring these all the way from Earth?”

Sara barely hid how sheepish she felt behind her dominant façade. “I believed they might serve many purposes in the new galaxy, especially if supplies and electronics ran short.” Lexi’s eyebrow raised and her bemused grin pierced Sara’s flailing story.

“Yes, okay, I brought them with me in the hopes I would find someone who wanted to be tied up. We all brought a few luxuries, some smaller, some larger. Is this any worse than Liam’s damn couch?” 

Lexi elected not to continue the light tiff. Instead, she tilted her head down and half-smiled. “I am glad I have given you a reason to use them, then. It is good the space was not wasted.”

“Lexi…” Ryder’s voice and hands reached out for her. “If I knew you were waiting for me at the end of this trip, I would have left almost everything in the Milky Way so I would have all the toys and tools to share with you. It would have been worth not having most of this stuff,” she gestured at the pictures, knick-knacks, and terrifying weaponry, “for you.”

“Flatterer,” said Lexi. Sara snorted and kissed her on the cheek.

She handed the rope to Lexi, who ran her fingers along the cords. It was soft but there was a slight prickle to it that left heat in its wake when she dragged her skin across it. She could imagine the constant stimulation it would apply to her body. Well, she had gotten quite used to that. Sara specialized in overwhelming or scant – in between was not in their repertoire. 

“Now, I can do this when you are clothed or not. It’s up to you. Things have been hard. I don’t want to pressure you.”

The flush of Lexi’s libido lessened enough for her to contemplate her situation. She did a mental step back and became Dr. T’Perro. With a clinician’s gaze, she made herself the subject of inquiry 

Had she accepted Ryder’s apology? Yes. It appeared to be genuine. Did she want to be here at this moment? Absolutely. The physical attraction never waned. Were these two sufficient to allow herself to be trussed up and powerless? The doctor debated back and forth. Nudity, okay. Physical affection? Hard to ignore her body’s demands. But trust? Did she trust her yet? Perhaps. Perhaps. 

“I would imagine changing my mind about clothing will involve more scissors than I would prefer. I like this outfit. So for the sake of my wardrobe, I will be undressed.” Then with more speed than was decorous, she stripped off her clothing and folded them to the side. “Where would you like me?”

“The bed, please.” Ah, that tone of voice that signaled the shift from the playful pathfinder to that stunning top who handled her as well as a sniper rifle. Lexi clambered on and Ryder knelt in front of her as well. She hung one piece of rope across the back of Lexi’s neck, paused, and looked at her with adoration. Then she began the tie.

By the second time Sara’s hands had wrapped the rope around Lexi’s chest, Lexi felt herself begin to slip. The soft pull of the rope as it tugged against her skin. The feeling of pressure when a knot came into place. The instant the rope tightened and Lexi was constricted. Sara was right. The rhythm, the concentration and geometry, the physical proximity that waxed and waned as Sara moved, all of these wove a spell as intricate as the ropework. 

Sara finished cinching the first layer around Lexi’s chest and Lexi breathed into the restraint. It was time to start trusting. She gave in to that needy voice that ached for the lack of control, the one that told her that their bonds worked best when Lexi brought down her walls and surrendered. 

“Sara, can you put on the limiters?”

In other circumstances, Sara might have double checked such a request, but it was accomplished without hesitation. Sara kissed Lexi on her forehead and settled her onto the bed while she found the equipment. With a click, Sara affixed the small metal clips to either side of Lexi’s fringe. The blue hum of her biotics diminished and the imperceptible shield she maintained dissipated. Now she was slipping further into the dark and wonderful place that was her submission to her beloved.

Lexi leaned forward as Sara worked. In many cases the contact would be teased away, leaving Lexi writhing for an inch of skin before being overwhelmed with sensation. Not today. She nestled her head onto Sara and Sara held her close. With a cupped palm she traced the long curves of Lexi’s fringe, down her neck, and in between the lines of rope. They stayed like that for a few simple moments before Lexi leaned back and let her continue.

Sara wrapped the length of rope over and around Lexi’s breasts. She could feel them swell with the pressure and her nipples jutted out into the cool air. As Sara’s body rocked back and forth with her task, she brushed against them. It was erotic, pleasurable, but not demanding. Usually she would arch her chest up and tempt Sara into touching her more. Now, the brief electric pulls of Sara’s shirt against her skin were unobtrusively stimulating her. 

The thick cords criss-crossed her chest and her torso, making an intricate series of brilliant blue diamonds against the pale rope. Lexi admired the precise work against her naked skin. She felt the edges of the hemp rasp and then relax with every breath, soothing rather than overwhelming. She sat, relishing this adornment.

Her admiration was pulled back towards Sara’s face, who kissed her sweetly. She let Lexi nuzzle into her chest once more, then asked in her ear, “Would you like me to do your wrists, my heart?”

With hazy eyes she smiled mutely at Sara and let her put her hands behind her back.

\--

Perfect. They had to be perfect. Sara uncoiled the rope in her hand while aligning the edges around Lexi’s wrists. As she was taught, they had to be close enough together to conceal all skin, with tension even to maintain blood flow and improve the aesthetic.

“You will want them perfect,” Michelle had said. “When you finally get a girl to sit still for you long enough to tie her up, you want the end result to be a work of art.” She’d given that smirk, the one that made her charcoal black eyes sparkle with sardonic mirth. “No one wants to look like a kidnapping victim and you don’t want to cut through your ropes when the knots are sloppy.”

Sara slipped the rope between Lexi’s wrists and added another layer. Lexi pressed her head against Sara’s chest and sighed in contentment at the contact. Sara wrapped an arm around Lexi’s midsection and ran her fingers down the rope corset. Each pull of her thumb vibrated the lines slightly and Lexi squirmed into the sensation, then settled. Then she leaned forward again so Sara could continue.

Her other partners had held still, she mused, probably to speed things up so Sara wouldn’t be distracted. They were there for the bondage and then the rambunctious fucking that would follow. The Shibari was fancy foreplay. Ah, but Lexi was there for every twist and every knot, every inch of rope and every pull of cord. Sara finally wove the spell she had always wanted to accomplish.

Michelle had guessed it would happen, for all her mocking. The day they met at the bar, Michelle had informed Sara that she would be the worst kind of heartbreaker or the best type of lover, depending on where she put her energy. With Michelle, she was neither. She had been outmaneuvered at every step of the relationship until both bored of it and they gave up. This was the last, best remnant of that time.

She formed the last of the rope cuffs and took a moment to admire how they lined up, then tied the knot and put it into place. She gripped the small amount of slack and pulled Lexi against her, repressing the urge to bite down on her shoulder, and kick start the sexual tension she wanted. Well, maybe. That she thought she wanted. When Lexi fell those precious centimeters and landed on Sara’s shoulder, off balance and breathless, Sara caught her and kissed both sides of her neck instead. She’d calculated the shift perfectly, making sure Lexi’s hands didn’t catch but still positioning her in a way that left her partially immobile and depending on Sara for support. 

The shift in position nudged Lexi out of her deep space and she looked up at Sara with a whisper of playful teasing in that otherwise fathomless gaze. “Am I to be swung around like a sack of equipment, Sara?”

“Mm, we’ll see.” She tucked her hands into the ropes across Lexi’s abdomen and rearranged the two of them so Lexi rested comfortably on her shoulder. With her right hand she retraced the lattice from Lexi’s neck to her wrists, seducing and calculating to see if all the ropes were in place. “Would you like me to bind your legs? Can you kneel comfortably?”

“My daily regimen includes rigorous stretching, as you know.” More playfulness. “I will tolerate it.”

Sara readjusted Lexi so she was on her back, bent one of her legs, and began slipping the rope around one ankle. Lexi sighed and relaxed under the movement of the rope. There was a stunning contrast between her midnight blue skin and the porcelain color of the hempen fibers. They had been bought for Michelle, after all, whose obsidian skin made just as striking a portrait when the two played. Sara pushed the other woman out of her thoughts. Another time to ruminate on that period of her life. 

She secured one ankle to Lexi’s knee and tested the range of motion. No sweak of pain, no coldness, just a gorgeous knot that finished the tie. She moved aside that leg and caught a glimpse of Lexi’s wet sex. All the things she could do right now would have to wait until she finished this…and until Lexi wanted it. That wasn’t the point of Shibari, at least right now. The goal was the journey. 

By the time she finished, Lexi had completed her soft descent into a dreamy subspace. Lexi never realized what that triggered in Sara. A ferocity, a rage of possessiveness and protectiveness, the almost visceral urge to let Lexi swim in those depths and emerge unharmed. She privately berated herself when she saw the woman in front of her close her eyes and absolutely surrender. How could Ryder have done anything to break this trust? Careless words, thoughtless actions, and inappropriate mirth. The dominant inside her roared its rage at the pathfinder’s cruelty. Never, ever again.

She slipped her hands under the ropes around Lexi’s shoulders and eased her to kneeling. Sara pulled Lexi into her and wrapped her in her arms, one hand around her neck, one locked into the ropes at the small of her back. They breathed in simple and silent synchrony. And Sara waited, because the scene was no longer hers to command.


End file.
